Let's just say you were among those who fell for flower bouquets and romantic candle-lit dinners. Surprisingly, sweet nothings led you to the altar (and perhaps you have those moments you get teary-eyed in so much happiness while looking at your wedding photos). Years later, you find yourself appearing as a petitioner of your very own annulment case. Or, because the thought of annulment itself is quite expensive, you end up PARANOID. Then you start asking yourself: What went wrong?
Sad is perhaps an understatement to describe a situation when love struck couples end up in a very uncompromising state (common in cases when the husband is get caught keeping or having a mistress). However you define it, it's a nightmare for the wives and the beginning of a love story for the mistresses, subject to some exceptional cases when collusion is 'happily' entered into between the wife and the husband at fault.
When the rush ceases and the red lips pale, it's when marital issues arise. While wives start to nag about simple things or have suddenly become dormant (with their duties), the mistresses just become so compliant to their man's wishes. And this is one reason why the bitches take them. For all that have been said and done, is annulment the best resort?
In the Philippines, culture becomes a predominant factor why people marry and why they have to stay married. It is a marital culture in the Philippines that wives (ideally) must be submissive to their husbands. In addition, they are expected to understand and support, as well as to take hold of the household chores. You might probably be raising your brows now but that is because you live in a generation X. While majority of women nowadays can be considered empowered with regards their rights (Republic Act 9262), my heart still bleeds for those who choose to be on the blind side.I may not yet be married (God forbid it'll be soon) but I always believe that no one gets hurt when no one even attempts.
For some reason or another, there are women who are traditional in handling their marital lives. Without them wanting it perhaps, they are still sticking to the conventionality of it all. By the time they cannot hold their reigns anymore, they end up seeking legal remedies -- annulment. Again, is it the best remedy?
Personally, in the middle of political and religious warring beliefs as well as the heated debate on whether or not divorce should be legalized in the Philippines, I still side for divorce or annulment (for that matter). But, considering that I am also a pro for maintaining the value and sanctity of marriage, it would rather be best to overhaul our Family Code and make it clearer and constructive to give it the teeth it needs whenever 'biting' must take place. But of course the Senate, as well as the Congress by which majority are men (and our Family Code happens to be more lenient for men) would somehow get a lazy ass to even pinch these existing laws.
In my honest opinion, when two persons stop to progress and nurture that emotional commitment they promised each other, there is no point of giving away your life just for the heck of it. Not all marriages work, that's a fact and for those persons who fall into this abyss, there must be a recourse for them. Would you rather try saving a marriage that damages you as a person? Hell no, for me. When it's time to go, you know when to pack your things while it is not yet too late. Deciding for it may be hard but it will be alright in the long run.
What about the children? Here's the thing. Staying in a marriage for the sake of the children will never be a best solution. Some women have this 'big love' thought for their children in the aim of giving them the family that they deserve and the father figure they need that they rather choose to sacrifice themselves than to let go and move out. Fact: Children will understand unless you don't want them to understand what exactly is going on. With proper guidance and proper information relayed, they will understand and to hell with the 'broken' word becoming a prefix to 'family'! Deciding to get a divorce or annulment doesn't mean you don't love your children (unless, you really don't). As I've said, you have to make the children understand and they must be able to understand your point.
Today. Career women (married) would rather become acquiescent of their husbands' affairs rather than dissolving the marriage. Ask one why and they would answer you: to keep the properties in tact (especially when they have children). Apparently, whenever one is validly married under our marriage laws and one party dies ahead of the other, the legitimate children will always automatically get half of the inheritance (intestate succession) and will also get the same share under testate succession. So, if Bill Gates happens to be your dad, do you think your mommy will get a divorce? Again, hell no for me.
What I'm really trying to say is, do not be in a hurry to get out but don't be too late to be damaged either. Weigh things and keep a sane thought all the time. You will always know when is the right time to talk, decide and strike. It will come and you will know exactly just what to do.
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