Time Is Of the Essence

Time is something you can never call your own. It takes you to be intimate with it to achieve a perfect timing for a moment. The passing of time can be as fast as a blink of an eye. You might not be able to notice it but yes, time itself is an essential element in the domino of life. You cannot own it, or cheat on it. It is for me, the most genuine and most precious thing in this lifetime. I cannot miss a beautiful sunrise by sleeping late at night. And most importantly, I cannot let an opportunity pass me by simply because I looked somewhere else.

If I will be able to turn back the time, will I still render the same decisions on things? Will I still make the same mistakes? Would I rather correct them or will I allow it to pass just by? The essence of time has been haunting me lately. For some reasons that I don't even know. There have been a lot of events that transpired these couple of days... and dealing with them simultaneously is quite exhausting and sad. Sad because I know at one point, I was happy - it made me happy, and it ended. Exhausting because I know that this time will come and I will have to deal with it, regardless - moving on phase.

Or, is this simply part of growing up? Cliche.

Time passed, can never be recovered. Thus, it is very important that you establish good relations with the people you have dealt with before you go. It is very important that you were able to do the thing that you know will make you happy during that entire duration of time.

Did I?

I know very well that the answer to this question is in the positive. I did my best, and that was just it. There are things in this life that even if you know it does makes you happy, but somehow you have to stop doing it otherwise it will destroy you as a person. It sounds ironic that happiness can also be destructive. I figured that one out now. As between the passed time and now, I know I have lost something... at least not all. But, I see things differently thereafter. I hate it that I feel something bitter deep within my inner self. I hate it that I have to let it go... and most of all, I hate it that it came too soon.

Am I regretting?

I'm not. Perhaps, I'm missing it... I'm missing it so much that it penetrates my soul. I miss it so much but I don't know where to even begin. I know I can't be in so many places without having to decide when to settle. I don't know where, when or how, but as has always been the case, I am still keeping my faith. I'm holding on.