In Re: Desperation

"Knock and the door shall be opened."

I am talking about opportunities, chances - those days when you want something so much to happen; when you learn to kneel down and pray so that the heavens may join you with your cause yet the heavens seemed to ignore such a cry of mercy. They say there will be reasons for everything. Yet, some reasons are about to reveal their true meaning at the later part when what you wanted has already passed. What will you do to keep your chances? How much stake are you willing to draw to make your dreams come true? 

They say perhaps you to have to learn to properly ask what your heart's desires are from the gods and see yourself be returned with great rewards or answers. I say otherwise. I don't question God's existence. I question the evolution, the transformation of things before my very eyes. I seek to satisfy my reasoning with what actually transpired rather than cloud it with doubts or falsities that bear no meaning even to the mediocre of minds. I want to understand why events do not happen at the very time you want them to be. Are we insufficient with our efforts or are we being cursed?

I do not wish to justify my senses simply out of curiosity. I seek far greater than the value of the true meaning of life. I am not here to ask the aid of science. I am here to live life so that I may be able to grasp its true meaning. There is no other path than that which has already been created for us. You have to walk through it and maintain the balance that you ought to maintain. Fail to do so and be prepared to suffer for the consequences of ill judgments and decisions. I have made so many in this lifetime and their rippling effect has caught me off guarded - beyond bearing. Today, is just one of those misfortunes that spring from yet another misapprehension.

My dreams are what make my heart beats. The longing to see the brighter future unfolds for my coming is what keeps me alive. I have lived in the present yet I shame myself with worries of what's yet about to come. My thoughts are imprisoned by thoughts of the future missing the opportunities presented by the past and most especially the present. What chances do I have to undo what has already been done? Am I still left with opportunities to seize to make me grab my future? I pinned myself in the present when my past and future hold no retribution of my ill will.

But, what does man cannot do when he is at his utmost desperation? If I am asked, I would rather tricked the gods and seize the heavens so that they may bleed and turn favorable judgments for me. I would rather risk all what's left so that I may yet live one more time.

I am challenged, and I may not yet bow down and be defeated without a good fight. I embrace my fate.